A co-worker observed in the lunch room the other day that I got a haircut.
“No,” I replied, “I got a lot cut.”
“Well, it looks really good.”
“Thank you. I just wish they got the white ones too.”
I recently found three white hairs on my head. These were not gray, or pseudo-white. These were Anderson Cooper white.
“Why don’t you just pluck them?” my co-worker asked.
“Are you crazy? They plan for this. All white hairs come with a deadman switch attached. Pluck one, and it sends out a signal for reinforcements. I’ll be white haired by Christmas of next year. All I’ll need is 100 more pounds and a beard and I’ll have a line of kids demanding toys.”